This Sky With No Lights
by Aiko Isari
Summary: In Digital City, the night is dark. Some people seek to light up the sky. Others seek out its beauty in the dark. Fei/Yuuko A small Stars sidestory.
1. 1

1\. Fragrances

In the dark, Yuuko often smells of salt and sprinkles.

Her sweet tooth is unbearable, to Fei. Fei grew up with tartness and violence. With bullies and thin limbs. With whispers and shuffling past doorways. She was not like that. Yuuko wasn't either. She was poison and thornbeds and sharp edges.

Yet she tasted sweet like sprinkles and sugar cookies and ketchup. A taste that was only hers, uniquely and completely. It was indecent to do down below, but up here, in the light or the dark, it was prized and pointed, sweet and warm.

For now, Yuuko was hers.

* * *

A/N: Celebrating my current canon cute pair! They're a couple of dorks and I like them

Challenges: Diversity Writing G/G F7, Minific Masterclass Cyber Sleuth 2.


	2. 2

2\. Base

Yagami Hikari was an outsider, just like her.

They seemed to like her enough here, though she had discovered through multiple tests that they liked anyone who could protect themselves up in Digital.

Fei had proved herself quickly enough.

Yagami Hikari must have as well because she'd already bumped into her three times this week at the data market.

It would have been better if she could intimidate her. She had the height.

As it was, she only got a gentle smile and nothing else. Fei could easily admit to being annoyed.

Still, she would be of use to Yuugo-han.


	3. 3

3\. Placid

Yuuko-han is quiet like a mannequin a lot of the time. She is quiet and obedient and standing up for herself is less of a given and more of a joke. She doesn't say no.

Fei is trying to test her boundaries, trying to make her stop rather than squirm. But she doesn't. So Fei stops. She cannot touch. She will not make her touch. So she waits and waits.

It means sleeping in the same bed on separate sides. It means brushing the pads of her fingers over a slightly damp pillow. It means two hands on one arm.


	4. 4

4\. Blank

Yuuko and Sayo share something. For the life of her, Fei can't put to words what it is.

Despite meeting on multiple online forums first, despite the way they had hit it off like fire on a wooden barn, Yuuko never opens up like she does for Sayo. She never smiles, not exactly, but Sayo is a strange sort of bullheaded, the kind that drags things out of you without trying.

It's small comfort that Hikari looks the same amount of uncomfortable. She hopes it's for the same reasons, if not the same person.

Fei feels bile in her throat.


	5. 5

5\. Openness

Yuugo-han has restrictions. He has bindings, promises, implicit understandings that eventually become explicit the longer you take to fulfill them. He's a good boy, too rigid. He has to be. He is Yuuko-han after all. She is no fluid. They are angles, sharpness, begging.

Was the real Yuugo-han like that?

Yuuko smiles a little, laughs a lot. Then she says, "I don't think so. It's been such a long time though. I don't really remember."

She laughs again and it is full of tears.

Fei's family is great on one side.

Even so, she can't take Yuuko to them now.


	6. 6

6\. Mass

Fei often wonders: what made Kamishiro Yuugo so confident?

Was he confident at all? Was it just that Yuuko-han believed him as that, as the strong, cool, amazing older brother? Was this what he was supposed to grow up into if the world had been kind to him?

They believed it was him. The people of Zaxon believed without hesitation in the words and feelings of this fragile looking figure. They heard his voice thunder despite never going higher than a regular old voice. What did he have that Yuuko-han did not?

She had, after all, been snared by him.


	7. 7

7\. Blood

Everything bleeds in EDEN. Everything that has it. Even Digimon.

Yuuko uncomfortably avoids it, avoids the subject of Digimon being alive because it touches something she isn't ready to breach, not for the life of her.

And Fei… was fine with that really.

She doesn't ask that but she does ask Yuuko to buy some new clothes. There are other dresses, better dresses. There have to be clothes that don't dig that deep into the gap in your cleavage.

At the idea of discomfort, Yuuko immediately tries to refuse. However, just this once, Fei overrides her.

They need a break.


	8. 8

8\. Edible

It's not funny, but it's hilarious.

Yuuko-han can't cook.

Well she can't cook anything that's not premade. Fei has never smelled so much burnt rice in her short life. Or badly used fish oil. Her small kitchen is a mess, her bills are going to be through the roof and they might call the neighbors.

It's also the longest that she's seen Yuuko with a different facial expression: frustration.

She likes it and says so and gets pink, so much pink.

She can't help but kiss it red and then pale again as she laughs.

It's worth the long cleanup.


	9. 9

9\. Personable

"I won't do that."

Sayo looks her in the eyes, which is exceedingly rare for her considering the difference between them both in height. "You want the best for the future of someone. Long as it doesn't intentionally hurt other people, I won't do anything."

Fei's lip curls. It's so disgustingly charitable. "You're privileged to pick and choose."

Sayo shakes her head. "No one can be everywhere for everything."

It's such a cop-out answer because EDEN has that power, but Sayo doesn't really care if she's believed or not. She just heads back to whatever case she's doing.

Damn hypocrite.


	10. 10

10\. Loose

Like a baby tooth, Yuuko is falling out.

She comes to the avatar tense and edgy. Yuugo-han's avatar twitches. His voice takes a little too long to make answers to easy questions. Yuugo-han leaves more and more to Fei.

She doesn't mind. She's useful to Yuugo-han and that is what matters. Yuuko-han's state matters more, if she lets it. Neither of them really do. That's what makes them not ready enough.

The hackers themselves are ready with the weaker demons weeded out and the soft-hearted gone to the pink girl who thinks she can lead.

They are so very wrong.


	11. 11

11\. Plaster

There is no death in EDEN.

That's the prevailing thought.

Fei believes it until today.

She has never seen Digimon die before. Hers are quite powerful and proficient at their tasks. Yuugo-han's, of course, had never seen a dent, as far as she was aware.

But now, there are tamers with their tools bleeding everywhere. (Tools don't bleed, her Papa says in her head, bold as brass and unforgivingly stern with all of his girls, but especially her, especially his little outcast of a tiger cub).

So everything is wrong, all wrong. There's not even a patch to fix them.


	12. 12

12\. Monster

Fei'd had no idea that Yuuko had been hiding her voice.

Somehow, that she'd kept her voice as Yuugo had been such a secret. Fei would feel betrayed if she wasn't so afraid.

She'd seen those monsters before, multiple times. But it's different now. There are swarms of them, each wiggling in the air and leaping towards the hackers. People drop like fly after fly to electricity and really, it's all their fault.

Then Yuugo-han starts screaming. It's a horrible sound.

"It's talking," he screams and she hears Yuuko-han instead for a terrible moment.

Then she's gone with a gurgle.


	13. 13

13\. Love

Hikari is good at these soothing, patented gestures of meaning well that don't really mean anything.

The problem is that she's actually nice about the whole thing, so it only served to make her stomach crawl with distaste and guilt. It isn't like it's the girl's fault after all.

But Yuuko is somewhere in the depths of this hellhole city that everyone loves more than earth and Fei is going to find her damn it and the idiot girl who had rushed to save her.

And she is going to say everything she needs to. No matter who is there.


	14. 14

14\. Sheen

When eyes lose their sheen, everything has gone wrong.

It's not an adage. It's a rule of thumb, really, one that Fei knows by heart.

So she supports Yuuko as they walk back the way she had come, her legs shaking and eyes dull. Tears are tracked in ugly lines down her face.

Hikari doesn't make a sound. She just waits, expectant, for one of them to speak.

Neither of them do, so she journeys on, Sayo's goggles around her neck.

She lets out a quiet sigh after a while.

Yuuko flinches.

"Don't cry," Hikari says. "Not here."

She doesn't.


	15. 15

15\. Wall

The wall is ever present from the monstrous spider that was swinging legs – not the other thing – at her and them and everyone and all Fei could really focus on was the sounds. The broken gurgles and screams that came from her loved one's throat.

There was no pleasure in this surely.

What does this say about Yuuko-han? About her? About them? Surely, they aren't all that twisted.

And TigerVespamon reaches for her and them and then Sayo, the demonic Tamer, leaps into action, unorthodox and uncaring.

She thinks she hears her speak, but it could be anything at all.


	16. 16

16\. Nail

Someday, Yuuko tells her, she wants them to go to the Digital World.

Fei wonders if it's worthwhile.

The idea makes her squirm on the inside, especially now that Yuuko-han looks so happy, looks content and determined and-

She's jealous. That's all it is, bitter jealousy over a purpose that doesn't belong to a person alone. Like hers.

Fei tries to be happy because this is her Yuuko-han and she's alive and okay and that has to be enough but it isn't. It doesn't help that that smile turns on her and it's warm and sweet. Sometimes they seem okay.


	17. 17

17\. Glare

It doesn't change. She does a multitude of things and none of them are enough. People are still dropping.

Yuuko has not and will not and clings some days, sometimes more, sometimes less. Sometimes she's home with take-out on the table and sometimes Fei wakes up to her cuddling against her for the night. So touchy-feely, so different, as if desperate-

Knowing something more that she'll never say.

Fei doesn't pry. She doesn't think that she can. Because Yuuko holds to her, to her heart and soul and no one else's.

If only that was true. Everything would be better.


	18. 18

18\. Lit

Fei accidentally walks in on Hikari and Sayo.

They're asleep, laid up on Yuuko's couch with a movie from the 90's playing on screen. The air smells of food and coffee. Yuuko holds the coffee pot.

"I've been banned," she says with a wry smile, full of warmth, all at her.

Fei snorts. "As you should be, Yuuko-han." The slow cooker continues its steady hum. "Did you burn anything?"

"No!" She covers her mouth, cheeks flushing. "Almost."

Fei lets out an easier laugh. She's very glad she can't smell it.

The world might be ending outside but it's quiet here.


	19. 19

19\. Mentor

Fei wishes Yuuko were here now. But she's off… somewhere, distant and cold. She's been angry for days and days now, struggling with something she couldn't word. Rage, perhaps, or sorrow, or something else she struggles to express outside of blankness. That alone is enough to worry about, but Fei has… apprentices now. Keisuke and Erika are good, teenagers in their thoughts of being always right. But then she had a soft spot for that kind of thinking.

If only her family could see her now. Likely no apology, but would there be pride? Satisfaction? Would her achievements matter? Unlikely.


	20. 20

20\. Linger

One night is not enough. One night of lingering hands and desperate noise is not enough but they have to make it last.

It was sudden, with Yuuko in frustrated tears and exasperated puffs of breath and Fei herself stumbling on worn out leg, too many hours in EDEN and they can feel all the failure in their bones and-

Fei tastes someone else's chapstick on Yuuko's cheek and wonders and asks and hears-

"It was weird she missed on purpose, I'm sorry," and it's all jumbled and Fei laughs because she understands.

"I'm territorial," she says and it's true.


	21. 21

21\. Tactile

The smell. The fucking smell, the ripping flesh and blood and bone she had no idea how she had survived that.

Perhaps it was the luck of Yagami Hikari passing by and raising her hands in rebellion, or Erika and Fei were just far enough back to avoid the explosion of power, or a host of other things. But she's still bedridden and bleeding and useless.

Yuuko isn't there immediately but when she arrives, she's puffy-eyed and hugging her close and not crying. Yuuko-han is strong, gripping her with more strength than before and bright eyes smiling up at her.


	22. 22

22\. Words

"There's… I can't think of words, can you?"

She loves Yuuko-han really, but why would you ask that of such a child? But then, it was Yuuko-han, and she would take the interest in others and their opinions as what it hopefully was.

He had a guess, which enough to make Fei's own cheeks burn and Yuuko lift with pride. The sight of her with her shoulders back and full of pride. Seeing that, Fei was willing take a hundred of those beasts again.

Except she wouldn't because that made Yuuko-han _upset._ That was the last thing she needed, really.


	23. 23

23\. Pray

It's hard to watch from the comfort of the hospital bed. Her feed exploding with texts, fellow hackers fleeing in fear of one tiny man with a closed heart.

If it weren't for her, that brat might be here in the hospital.

Yuuko doesn't think so but Yuuko-han is also relieved she is out of fire, that the knights are no longer interested in her. Fei is not relieved. After all, her loved one is in danger, all the more. They're after her and her friends and all she can do is wait with Fanbeemon.

She's never been religious before.


	24. 24

24\. Nightfall

The day before Yuuko-han disappears forever, her Yuuko-han, she tells her about the Digital World.

About the vibrant colors, of the fighting monsters. Of how people struggled and clawed for life.

"Must sound barbaric," she had said at the end, smiling softly.

"Sounds like here," Fei had answered, brushing the black locks with her fingers.

"That too."

Yuuko-han rarely ever blames Earth out loud for what her home has become, but there are moments. Moments where she's sobbing when she thinks Fei is sleeping, or something like a department store.

There is so much Fei wishes she could give her.


	25. 25

25\. Spellwork

"Shouldn't you be resting?"

"Shouldn't you?"

Fei regards Hikari over her laptop screen, gets a small smirk in return.

"I would be," Hikari agrees, sitting beside her without asking. "But I heard tell you and yours were very busy, so I came to be a distraction."

"Just territory battles," Fei mutters, pink flushing her cheeks. She wasn't a child. "Nothing too exciting."

"Still." Hikari smiles, looking like she was supposed to be here and maybe she was, Fei didn't know. "But I'd rather be here than pacing."

Fei grumbles into her vanilla pudding. "I wish I could pace."

Hikari laughs.


	26. 26

26\. Daily

Fei goes home - Yuuko-han's home, not her own empty apartment – and sees Kishibe Rie. Rage filled her stomach until she heard the sound of a terrible aching sob. A sound that filled Fei with a jealous kind of bile. There, there, here was a mother who loved her children, who desired and treasured and cared for them in every bit of breath.

"Sit," Kishibe said. "Your wounds aren't that well off. Sit."

Fei sits.

And Kishibe talks. About many things, but most are about Yuuko-han and her brother, and so Fei drinks it all in with envy and delirious hunger.


	27. 27

27\. Quake

The end comes out of nowhere.

Though she's called in a favor to help Hudie, she feels the world quake. This small city trembles, and a part o her thinks she hears a roar of sorrow.

She turns to little Keisuke, who is not so little now, and nods to him. "Go," she orders.

He nods and for the second time, she prays. For the second person, because he is just a child and for Yuuko-han and her friends because they need all the prayers they can get.

And then she makes a third, for everyone to survive.

They don't.


	28. 28

28\. Heal

In the end, what matters most is love.

It was something Sayo had said, vaguely, loopy from the machines, but it was also the _truth_. People created their own truths, their own realities and better ones always came when things mattered to you.

Even with Yuuko-han.

It wasn't over for her, or her friends, or the pack she was creating. There was no such thing as happily-ever-after.

Still, Fei wanted to believe in "happy in the moments they had" because it was a more realistic thought, and fit the fading away lights in the sky.

It was something like hope.


End file.
